This Used To Be My Playground
by beware of trips
Summary: The word sat heavily in the silence between them. Pregnant. Even though it was just them - two eighteen-year-old girls in the bathroom of Pops - they both tensed. They could feel the stigma of the word right down to their bones.


Hermione could hear Alice's sobs through the heavy bathroom door. She took a deep breath as she pushed it open. Here goes nothing.

She waited for the door to close before pressing in the button lock. "Alice?" she called softly. The click of her heels echoed against the tiled room as she approached the stalls. "You in here?"

Alice sucked her teeth on the other side of the stall door. "No, bimbo. It's someone else crying." She sniffled. "Who the fuck else would it be?"

Be nice, Hermione. Prove them wrong and just be nice.

She placed her palm against the door. "Open up. Lets talk."

Hermione peaked under the stall. Alice's beat up Doc Martens - the ones that went surprisingly well with the plaid skirt and button up she was wearing - were rolling back and forth, leaving little scuff marks on the floor.

"Go away," Alice said softly. "I just need a minute."

"You've been in here for ten minutes already. We were starting to get worried."

Alice scoffed. Her boots squeaked as she stood up. "So Hal sent you in here to check up on me."

Hermione took a few steps back, checking to make sure the sink was dry before leaning back against it. She envisioned Alice on the other side of the door, leaning forward with her hands and forehead pressed against the stall, listening to her.

"No actually." Hermione smoothed out the navy fabric of her new dress. "Hal told me I'd make things worse if I came in here."

"And you are." Alice shuffled her feet and Hermione could just make out her eye and some hair through the crack in the stall. "You don't own me anything. You can go."

Hermione held in her eye roll. "Just come out of here. Lets talk. We don't need to go back to the boys yet."

"Oh. The boys." Alice let out a harsh laugh. "You think they're out there talking about us? The girls? Is that what we've been reduced to? Is that what you think we are? Two happy-go-lucky couples out enjoying a super fun dinner and a movie double date?"

"I wouldn't say I'm enjoying any of this, no. However," Hermione pushed off the sink and took a step closer to the door, looking Alice in the eye, "I am trying to be nice. I'm trying to be a friend."

Alice's eye bore into her. "We are not friends. Hal and Hiram are friends."

"And we're their girlfriends. That makes us something, doesn't it?" Hermione looked at the ceiling. "Friends by association?"

"No, Hermione." Her voice cracked. "That doesn't make us anything."

Her heart twinged and she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Alice. Just open up. Please."

The lock clicked and Alice slowed pulled the stall door opened. There was a mess of eyeliner and mascara smudged around her eyes. Her lip quivered ever so slightly and, before Hermione realized what she was doing, she extended her arms. Alice fell into her immediately.

Hermione wrapped her arms around the blonde girl. Although Alice had a few inches on her, they were the same height in her heels. Hermione carefully took a few steps back so she could lean against the sink again, Alice's warm weight almost a comfort against her. She felt a few tears run down her neck as Alice wrapped her arms tighter around her. Hermione started rocking her slightly and was surprised to feel Alice sway with her.

Her sobs slowed down to sniffles, but Hermione made no move to break their embrace. She ran her hand up and down Alice's back.

"Are you okay?" she finally whispered.

Alice pulled away slightly. "Do I look okay? Sound okay? Am I acting okay?"

Hermione moved her hands to Alice's shoulders. "Obviously not. Do you - do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Alice asked. Her make up had begun to run down her cheeks. Hermione sent out a silent prayer that she was wearing a dark color and whatever makeup stain Alice left wouldn't be visible.

She gave Alice's shoulders a squeeze. "Are you really crying over what those freshman said out there?"

Alice swallowed. "You heard what they said. What would be the proper reaction?"

"Since when does Alice Smith give a shit about anyone else's opinion of her? Much less the opinion of some snot-nosed little frosh."

Alice shook her head, her new shoulder length hair shaking around her chin. "Of course I give a shit what people say about me."

"What are you talking about? You're Alice fucking Smith." Hermione laughed. "I've seen you brush off the nastiest comments, right to your face."

"Yeah, many of them courtesy of you." Alice rolled her eyes. "Look, that doesn't mean they don't suck. It doesn't mean I don't care."

"Well, you put on a great act because I never would have guessed. You play it so cool."

Alice shrugged Hermione's hands off and crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, we don't need to do this. You get your points for trying to be nice. Lets just get back out there."

"No." Hermione copied Alice's stance, crossing her arms. "I will not let you go out there until you tell me what's really bothering you."

"I told you already, those kids -"

"Bullshit. There's more to it."

Alice's shoulders slumped. "Just ask," she whispered. "I know you want to."

Hermione shook her head. "No, Alice. It's none of my business where you were these past few months."

"'None of my business,'" Alice repeated slowly. She cracked a smile. "Wow. Those are words I never thought I'd hear out of your mouth."

"Hey, I know you weren't in prison. You'd have to be an idiot to think that." Hermione reached out and put her one hand back on Alice's shoulder. She slowly looked the girl up and down. "You'd also have to be an idiot to not notice, well, how you've changed."

Alice's eyes pierced into her, fear hiding somewhere in the stoney blue. "Like I've… I've become soft or something?"

"No," she said. "More like how you've gone from an A cup to a C cup. Like how you all of a sudden grew hips. Like how you look like someone ripped something near and dear right out of you. Or… or someone."

Alice's face fell, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks again. "I… I…"

"Don't. You don't owe me an explanation."

She gulped and nodded. "Hal. Hal told you?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, I figured it out on my own."

"But - but how?"

"Look at you. You look like you finally went through puberty. Your body is all different. I know people work out in prison, but nothing is going to make your tits grow like that. The timing all kind of worked out too. Plus, Hal was a mess from the second you left. I really thought we were going to need to put him on suicide watch or something. He was freaking everyone out."

Alice gulped. "I - we, we just couldn't -"

"Hey." Hermione put her other hand on Alice's shoulder and looked her square in the eyes. "I told you. You don't owe me an explanation. You don't owe anyone anything."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Alice bit her lip. "Why are you being nice to me?"

Hermione shrugged. "High school is almost over. I have to put some stuff in the past. I have to grow up." She shook her head. "I can't even imagine though, what it must have been like to -"

"I don't want to talk about it," Alice cut her off. "I am so sorry. I appreciate what you're doing, but I really, I can't. It's hard enough to talk about it with Hal. It'd be impossible with you. You're - you're not going to say anything though? To anyone?"

"Of course not, Alice. Jesus. I'm not a monster."

Alice snorted, a slight smile breaking her face. "You are definitely a monster."

"Well, it takes one to know one."

"Touché." She sighed. "But do other people know? I mean, if you figured it out -"

"I am smarter than your average River Vixen. I run the rumor mill in school and, trust me, you are safe. You running away to join the circus ranked above you being pregnant. Oh!" Hermione covered her mouth.

The word sat heavily in the silence between them. Pregnant. Even though it was just them - two eighteen-year-old girls in the bathroom of Pops - they both tensed. They could feel the stigma of the word right down to their bones.

"We should -" Alice pressed her lips together. "We should get back out there. Hal is probably worried about me."

"Yeah. Yeah, he was." Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Hey, do you even want to see this movie tonight? We could go do something else instead."

"Like what? Ditch the boys and go to the mall?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "As if. Hiram loves the mall. He'd never let us go without him. I don't know. We can do anything. Who wants to see some dumb kids movie about baseball?"

"I like baseball," Alice said softly. She looked down at her boots. "Look, this was - it was nice of you. It really was. But lets not pretend this was anything more than an isolated incident."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means -" Alice sighed. "It means we can play nice in here and pretend we're friends, but once we're out there again, we won't be able to help ourselves. You'll say something, I'll take it wrong and snark at you, then you'll snap back at me. We'll be back to our old selves before the check comes."

"We've been in there forever. The check probably came ages ago."

"See? We can't agree on anything." Alice leaned against the stall. "The point is, this is just us. We've never gotten on and I don't think we could change if we wanted to. So why don't we take this for what it's worth. You doing a good deed by being nice and keeping my secret, and me appreciating it. We don't need to put on this facade."

Hermione let her hands fall from Alice's shoulders. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say." She pressed her lips together. "This is going to sound silly, but I actually admire you. Can you believe that?"

"Yeah right." Alice met her eyes. "You're serious? Why?"

"Well, besides you going through, well," she gestured to Alice's midsection, "all of that and still being able to function, it's what I told you before. I've seen you take so much shit from people and brush it off like it's nothing. Do you know how hard that is? I overheard some of the other Vixens call me a stuck up bitch last week and I cried in my car for twenty minutes."

"But you are a stuck up bitch."

Hermione laughed. "Yeah. Yeah, maybe I am. It still stings though. They could have at least said it to my face."

"Trust me, it's not always better that way."

"Can we - can we try to be friends? Or try to be civil at least?" Hermione held out her hand. "If not for our own sanity, than for the boys?"

"No." Alice extended her arms and Hermione stepped in for a hug. "We do it for our own sanity. Fuck the boys. They're fine."

"Fuck the boys," Hermione laughed.

When they broke apart, Hermione unlocked the bathroom door as Alice wiped the smeared makeup from around her eyes.

"I am going to have to ask you for a favor though," Alice said as she balled up a wad of paper towels.

"Sure."

Alice smiled at her reflection. "I want to go make those shitty little freshman out there cry. You in?"

Hermione stepped behind her and grinned at her reflection as well. "Definitely."


End file.
